State of Denial

While I’m incredibly grateful for our positive result from our IVF cycle I’m in a state of denial. I just do not feel like this is actually happening to us. I have almost no symptoms which could be cause for worry or rejoicing. Over the weekend my mom and I visited baby stores and my husband and I started researching pregnancy books. Mom took measurements of the nursery and my in laws generously offered purchasing our crib. All the while I have just been feeling like I am in a daze and that this is too good to be true. The pessimist in me keeps waiting for something to happen. It just seems inevitable considering all the lengths we went through to get here. Since we were pretty open about our infertility many people have asked the results of our beta. We have told so many people our news so early that it really makes me anxious. I hate that I’m not enjoying this but I’m just too careful for my own sanity. I feel guilty for even whining like this. If I were reading this post on someone else’s blog a few months ago it would make me angry.